I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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