Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my poor anus
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
