ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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