so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
