I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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