I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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