Kiss
Puke
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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