I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
