Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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