a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
