I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
