how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize