there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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