My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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