I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
