Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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