If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
