well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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