my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Girls should come with a carfax report
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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