I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
