Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
