please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
