I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
