so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
