I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
did you just send me my own nude
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
