You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
