It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize