i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
