Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
