dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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