Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
