she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If that was your dad, he is hot
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
