Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
