If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize