yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
