There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
