i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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