she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
