Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
