Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
