I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
