how can u be prego again
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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