erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
