OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
