just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Pants are for mortals
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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