forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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