Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.