it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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