I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.