Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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(281): They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born. http://tfl.nu/is60

Replies (7) Good night (644) Bad night (1621)
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(415): View more from California

I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone

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(415): I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone http://tfl.nu/hnp6

Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (2703)
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(936): View more from Texas

My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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(936): My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today. http://tfl.nu/sil6

Replies (10) Good night (10914) Bad night (725)
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(323): View more from California

Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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(323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j

Replies (31) Good night (872) Bad night (3730)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.

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(732): the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam. http://tfl.nu/4l2e

Replies (26) Good night (1124) Bad night (6416)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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(910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py

Replies (13) Good night (2522) Bad night (3231)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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(937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj

Replies (18) Good night (6770) Bad night (1236)
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(916): View more from California

I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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(916): I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one... http://tfl.nu/z7kq

Replies (13) Good night (5936) Bad night (1038)
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(979): View more from Texas

How sober do you have to be to donate blood?

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(979): How sober do you have to be to donate blood? http://tfl.nu/9d8c

Replies (9) Good night (3590) Bad night (1144)
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(602): View more from Arizona

After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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(602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8

Replies (5) Good night (1939) Bad night (609)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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(864): Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members? http://tfl.nu/kgk2

Replies (15) Good night (757) Bad night (2026)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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(502): The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him. http://tfl.nu/w8du

Replies (13) Good night (1990) Bad night (713)
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(970): View more from Colorado

This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian

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(970): This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/y4qc

Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (493)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that

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(774): He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that http://tfl.nu/j7eg

Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (318)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down

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(910): Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down http://tfl.nu/ca0t

Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (148)

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