We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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