Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
