That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
