whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
