pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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