I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She's the barista slut.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
