From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
