Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
