i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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