Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
