don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
