Welp...herpes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
