Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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